By Joe Higgins and Chris DeSimone, Inside Tucson Business
Published on Friday, August 13th, 2010
Read a newspaper, turn on the TV news or listen to the radio and you start hearing the same buzz words over and over from local power brokers and politicians. They’ve been using them so long, you can’t help but notice they don’t add up.
At the suggestion of listeners to our radio show, we’ve put together our Wake Up, Tucson dictionary of definitions to these common buzzwords and phrases.
• Transparency or accountability.
Implied meaning: As stewards of taxpayers’ hard-earned dollars, governments constantly strive to expose insider or backroom deals and honestly report the financial impacts of decisions. Print this storyEmail this storyPost a CommentShareThis
Real meaning: We will do fancy multimedia presentations with beautiful photos of things like folklorico dancers, but never actually show you anything important. We hire consultants to justify decisions we already know we are going to make. Pima County government has an additional meaning: If you are a county employee and your name appears in the news media, clean out your desk.
• The half-cent additional city sales tax is for cops and fire.
Implied meaning: The tax on the Nov. 2 ballot will go to funding necessary basic city services.
Real meaning: We will throw the money at fire and cops; meanwhile we’ll continue using city money to subsidize $5 yoga classes and Sun Tran services. If the new tax were really for cops and fire, why would Councilwoman Regina Romero have told Sun Tran’s striking Teamsters to “wait until the new sales tax is passed” when the city has more money in the kitty.
• Public-private partnership.
Implied meaning: A symbiotic relationship between a government and private businesses that will bear mutually beneficial economic fruit.
Real meaning: The business model is so bad that no private business would dream of sinking its own money into it. (Think downtown Tucson convention hotel.)
• Think outside the box.
Implied meaning: We are a cutting-edge organization constantly looking outside the norms of the typical boring way of thinking.
Real meaning: We can’t come up with an original thought and besides, any idea that does come up never gets implemented so we have to say something like this to make it look like we might actually do something some day.
• Blue ribbon panel.
Implied meaning: We have gathered the area’s brightest stakeholders to solicit ideas, debate them and present the resulting solutions in a clear, concise manner.
Real meaning: The place where good ideas go to die.
• Regionalism.
Implied meaning: A broad-based and inclusive partnership of municipalities working together to achieve a common goal by realizing the economies of scale and complimenting each of the other’s strengths and weaknesses.
Real meaning: A super government put into place by Pima County with the City of Tucson supposedly an equal. The goal is that once total control of water and wastewater is complete, the “region” can start to be turned back to the way it was in the 1940s. Meanwhile, the battle rages on the outskirts where the real region’s last hopes for progress lie in the the municipalities of Marana, Oro Valley and Sahuarita. (Bring up the “Star Wars” theme music.)
• Small business day (as proclaimed by the Tucson city council leading up to the November 2009 election).
Implied meaning: The attitude of the city and it’s bureaucratic red tape is improving so much, it’s a snap to open a business in Tucson. Things are “shovel-ready” and ready to go.
Real meaning: The city needs revenue so it has come up with a bunch of new fees to nickel-and-dime you when you try to open a small business. As an example, how about the city’s new $5,000 non-refundable application fee for temporary revocable easement review? In Oro Valley,a full Development Review Board review is $350.
• It’s for the children.
Implied meaning: The increased taxes and fees government is proposing on businesses will go to programs that will benefit the most vulnerable members of our society.
Real meaning: The extra money will go to politicians’ pet projects to increase reliance on government by the most vulnerable in our society, thus helping to reassure politicians’ re-election.
There are others we can’t fit in this column, such as “the four-mile $160 million modern streetcar will spur development;” “we have to build a downtown convention center hotel to save the annual gem shows;” “the $200 million spent so far by Rio Nuevo on downtown redevelopment sets the stage for private investment;” “spending $46 million on a $31 million downtown underpass is a great deal;” “I support copper mining but I’m concerned about how much water Rosemont Copper will use;” “the orange griffen and Scott Avenue is the heartbeat of downtown Tucson;” and “Huntsville, Ala., has nothing on Tucson.”
There are more buzzwords out there and we’d like to hear them. Send us your suggestions at the e-mail address below.
Consider it an educational as well as fun exercise. This stuff would be funny if it weren’t so painfully true.
Contact Joe Higgins and Chris DeSimone at wakeuptucson@gmail.com. They host “Wake Up Tucson,” 6-8 a.m. weekdays on The Voice KVOI 1030-AM. Their blog is at www.TucsonChoices.com.